Chapter Four: The Happiest Of Things Can Be The Core Of Destruction.

At the start of year 10(2013) everything started to fade away.. the rumours, the backstabbing, the lying everything bad started to slip away and good things started to come my way. I started to have crushes again gained friends everything was fine until about early May last year I started to like a guy he was 19 at the time and he liked me back. He and I started dating and it was fine for a few weeks but one day we had a massive fight and we didn’t talk for two days. On the third day we had to go to church, and he asked me to meet him at the back of a hall next to the church, so I left my friends my family to meet him. It was a dark, cold gloomy night and it was about to rain. All of a sudden I’m walking towards the hall and I hear someone calling my name it was him. Now I thought he was calling me to apologise to me and to talk out… But I was wrong. He instead had the idea of taking my virginity as his apology to make everything better, but I didn’t want it. I struggled and cried and screamed…but no one could hear me. He had taken my jumper off, thrown it to the ground, he had taken my bra off, was forcing me to give him a blowjob and I was on the verge of throwing up. He was pushing me against the wall with all force and now he put me to my feet feet and had unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans had pulled them down and then, he took his shirt had put his pants down and taken them off, The only thing that was on the on both our bodies together was my underwear. He realised I still had them on, and taken them off me. I was still screaming but he was covering my mouth, he had nearly inserted his part until I punched him in the stomach, I was so scared I got ready in less than a minute. As soon as I had everything on I ran back to the church hearing him calling out my name in the back saying he was sorry that he didn’t mean it. After that night, we didn’t break up for at least two months. In that entire time, he spoke about his ex, he was talking about all the other girls he was seeing, the girls he was having sex with… but not one once did we ever break the relationship. After two months one of my guy friends had liked me for at least four years and he asked to hang out one day after school. So I agreed. And it was one of the worst decisions I had ever made.

MY ADVICE: if you are getting sexually harassed, or you have gone through the same thing I have stop what should I doing tell a leader, tell a teacher, it may be hard to tell a parent but tell a parent, tell a friend tell anyone that can help you get through it or that you trust to keep it a secret or to help you tell them you won’t regret it. Just remember you aren’t worth the suffering, the pain and agony of keeping it in, off it eating you alive. Just tell someone and it will make your life whole lot easier
~ K xx