Do you have your safe place? Where you just feel like nothing can hurt you there? Whether it’s your room/ house, your boyfriends/ girlfriends house or even being with someone. Does someone make you safe?
Well my safe place is my room and my house. No one can hurt me or touch me. I don’t speak to anyone out of school except S and 2 other people other than that. No one else. I have been on school holidays for the past 2 weeks and it went away in a blink of an eye. It felt like heaven. I spoke to no one from school, slept in each morning, didn’t have to worry about another rumour or someone saying something to me, or me getting hurt. I was safe. I was usually in the arms of my boyfriend and spent most of my days with him except when he had to study for his last year of high school. Sometimes good things come to an end. Like yesterday was my 11 month with my boyfriend, I didn’t want to leave but I had too. School holidays. They always end and you always have to go back to hell. I start school on Monday and am scared and nervous as hell as too what could happen. Scared that things might happen again. I have 8 more weeks of hell then I’m done for 2 and a half months until next year one more whole year. Sometimes I think to myself… ” how am I going to survive this week? How am I going to survive exam week? How am I going to survive seeing the people I have been avoiding or haven’t spoken to or they have ignored me? How am I going to survive today?”
But I go through knowing I’ll get home and be happy again.
Do you have a safe place or someone you feel safe with?
So start of Year 7 and already I had people talking about me, how my boyfriend deserves someone better and I hadn’t even been at school a whole day yet and half the whole class new who I was. I walked in late to assembly and was getting shown which home room I was going into and already I had started to hate school as the girl who made up most of the issues or made me feel like crap was the only girl in my house color and year level in my home room. After everyone got sorted into home rooms it was time to spend and hour with my home room peers. By the end of first break I was already crying. Around the end of April I was planning on dumping my boyfriend… reasons why? Well he was verbally abusing me and physically, lying behind my back, was pretty much stalking me, and liking other girls at the same time… on a dark rainy day my friend was there and helped me get through dumping him, after I dumped him he ran of crying. Now by standing in the rain I fell sick the next day but went to school for half day. During the break I saw my friends and my now ex’s friends running after him cause of what he was saying which involved me. It was exactly all what I said; using me, liking other girls but this hurt the most.. he never actually liked me and he said I would never feel love or know what it feels like to feel loved but you know what? he was right for a couple of years. The same year in September the girl in my home room was really annoyed one day and decided to let it out on me. All I did was sit down and she already told me to “fuck off” “no-one likes you Kim” and to “DIE”. Now the whole day I was stuck with this crap from her,at our lunch time break she snapped and slapped me pulled my hair kicked me and slapping me non-stop. So then I just cracked it and punched her in the face. That day when I went home my whole face was swollen and I was balling my eyes out to my parents. Next thing you know the gitl comes to school the next day with bruises everywhere as her father beat her up the night before and I got a weeks suspension and rumors flying around the school each year level and she got 2 days suspension and everyone loved her. After that week I had to start fresh again with no friends, everyone hating me for stupid rumors and it all kept going and getting worse till start of year 10.
READ: Everyone makes it through the bad times, like look at you now! You are still here and have overcome what has crossed your path. You are doing great 🙂 If someone is hurting you physically in a fight, one of your friends or a boy/girl friend tell them to stop, call a help line, try and find a way out. If you don’t stand up for yourself you will just keep felling down about yourself, stand up and use the voice you were given to stand up against anyone and be brave 🙂
~ K xx